Kids and surgery...

She's apprehensive...naturally...and quite frankly so am I. The whole idea of the hospital, and putting her to sleep kind of freaks me out. I wish I could go through it for her and then let her reap the rewards of the results!! I guess that is quite a typical feeling for a mom!

In addition to the stress of the actually surgery. My husband and I are feeling the weight of the financial stress of the surgery as well. WOW...who knew it could cost so much. And who knew our insurance was such a bummer. So all day I've wrestled with what to do, how to make it work. And the truth is, I have no answer.

She needs the surgery, we've determined that. As for the money, that's when my faith HAS to step into the picture. God and I have been a little at odds lately. Not because I doubt his existence, or even his love for me...but sometimes I think he might be preoccupied with everyone else. Yet in my heart of heart I also know that is not true.

So maybe through Isabel's surgery I am the one learning the lesson of even more dependence and faith. First of all, he loves her even more than I do...hard to imagine...and he has a plan for her little life. Second, he loves me too and he even has a plan for my ridiculous life - and more importantly he really cares...a lot!

Thanks for letting me rant and rave. Pray for my little one tomorrow if you think about it. And remember, he really does love each and every one of us. He made us, he has purpose for us...and for pete's sake...he even suffered and died for us. If he was willing to do that for me almost 2000 years ago, I'm pretty sure he cares about what I'm doing today. So what in the world am I worrying about anyway!!