Posted on January 16 2011
It made me step back. It literally took my breath away. As I walked through the steps of my nightly routine I didn't expect this.
I check on my kids before I go to bed...tuck in body parts, kiss heads, change radio stations...nothing terribly exciting. It's just what I do. But tonight was different.
That leg crazily sticking out from under her sheets. That could NOT be Tahlia's leg...she must have swtiched bunks with her big sister. My baby is NOT that big. But she is...and it stopped me in my tracks.
I gently tucked THAT growing leg back under the sheets wondering how she could have gotten so big. My heart ached for the days gone by. They're gone. I can't get them back.
I curled up next to her warm little body, carressing her hair and gently kissing her cheek my breath steadily in time with hers. And then the tears began to flow....cascading from my cheeks to hers. Not because she is growing up. No, I love that part. She is a beautiful 8 year old, inside and out. But because I feel like I'm missing it. How can I miss something happening RIGHT before my eyes?
I hate that.
Reluctantly I tore myself away from her peaceful frame, stealing just one more kiss and breathing in her sweet little girl scent. I reached up to the top bunk and ran the back of my hand along my beautiful Bella's cheek...then I sighed. I sighed so loud it surprised me.
Such treasures these girls are, along with my other two children. Such precious gifts from above.
And then I knew. In my heart and in my gut. Something has to change....in me.