Ask Lisa - you moved. Was it hard to leave your home?
Many of you know that last week we moved. Well, not actually moved...more like "moved out". We sold our home in Michigan, and we are living in Indiana in a rental.
The question has been asked, "was it hard to leave behind your home in Michigan?"
The answer? A definite "no".
The follow up question. "What? You lived there for 9 years. You raised your kids there!"
Answer? Still, "no".
Let me back up.
My husband leads music in a church. For some of you, you might be saying "what the what?". What does THAT mean. It means, he is not a pastor. He doesn't teach. But he leads the band and leads the church in worship music.
Anyway, year 2004, we were living in Indiana when he was asked to move to Michigan to be a part of a new church start up. We knew the players. We had lived there before. Jonathan is from Grand Rapids, Michigan. Our family was there. It seemed like a win-win.
So we moved. We, meaning, four kids 9 and under...the youngest just a toddling two year old.
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| August 2004 - the summer we moved |
Talk about excited. We were eager with anticipation about the future that was before us! How God would use us. How our kids would thrive. How the church would grow.
If I could insert that sound a needle on a record makes when it slides off the vinyl...I would do it here.
What we were unprepared for was some of the most trying, difficult and painful years that were to come.
In a move of selfish gain, the leadership of that church fired my husband. Fired. Not because he wasn't doing his job. Not because people did not like him. It was truly a move of someone wanting to be number one, immaturity and fear.
In life you expect people to hurt you. You expect disappointment. You expect conflict. What blind sided us was when the church we came to start turned its back on us, and left us winded ... spinning ... and crushed.
It even felt as if the God we loved. The God we served. The God for whom we picked up everything we knew and moved, to follow His will for our lives. Had rejected us.
Crash.
Then it began to break down.
In THAT home.
My husband crashed. I crashed. Our marriage crashed. The next years were a series of hurt, disappointment and failure. It was ugly.
I'd like to say there is a happy ending to that church story. That we understand why things happened. That those who so intentionally hurt us have reached out and asked for forgiveness. But that is not the case. There has never been a single word from anyone.
I have been angry and bitter and called out for judgement....
but I've grown.
We chose to "just keep swimming". We chose to learn. To trust. To forgive. To heal.
We chose to focus on our God who is bigger than we are. To allow him to move into our hearts, our marriage, our family. It wasn't, isn't, easy.
Funny. Our kids miss THAT home. They miss the memories. Isn't that ironic? Protected. Covered with grace. And for that we are so very thankful. They grew up in that home. Some learned to read. Some learned to ride bikes. Friendships grew. Trees grew. Bulbs were planted. There were Christmases and birthdays. Short hair. Long hair. Puppies and kittens.
It makes my heart ache. Because I feel like I missed so much of that. I was so lost. It was so dark for so long. But yet, I am glad they have those memories to hold on to and treasure. Forever.
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| December 2012 - in our rental home |
But as for me. Was it hard to leave my home? No. Not at all. Chapter closed.
And truly...I do believe...the future is very, very bright.
Thank you for reading. For hearing my heart. As always...I am grateful for you.
love,
lisa
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Posted on March 14 2013