What was I thinking?

Here goes! Here is the thing...I don't have a great deal of self-confidence. Yes I just admitted that out loud. And I know there are many of you who are saying, "you? Lisa?" yeah right. That only proves the fact that I am the queen of deception, not really a flattering title...but we all need to be good at something right? And I am very good at making you all think that I am a very self confident woman. Truth is, being tall helps...people make lots of assumptions about tall people! Bet you didn't know THAT did you? Anyway, back to ArtPrize. This is such an amazing event. A true crowning achievement for the art world. I just wanted to be a part of it for the inaugural year...just to be able to say I was. And I am an artist...really. I have a degree to prove it - a Bachelor of Fine Arts...even sounds fancy doesn't it? But I haven't done "real" art for way too long. I worked in the field of graphic design for many, many years, and NEVER considered that art. It was a job that paid the bills. Then I embraced the love of fire within me and became a jewelry artist full time. Once again I felt like an artist - creative, artistic. But to pay the bills my jewelry became my occupation. Don't get me wrong, I am blessed to sell to galleries, boutiques, jewelry stores and even art museums. But the truth? I feel like a whore. I design and create each piece, but I make the same things over and over and over again. I hardly have time to make the new designs that crawl around in my head and ache to come out and become something tangible. And then along came ArtPrize. The artist within me screamed to be a part, to once again create art for the sake of art. To be a part of something amazing. But I am terrified. I lie awake at night mulling over the design, tweaking the details in my brain. I sit at my bench and caress the metals - allowing my fingers to feel the design within agonizing to come out. But this piece, this design - is more than art. It has a story. And that story is mine. It's the story of a journey I have been on for the last year, and it's not pretty. So not only is this art...but it is an unveiling of my soul. What was I thinking? So here goes. Hello. My name is Lisa J. Visbeen-Lehmann. and I....I AM an artist.